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The interface might have been one of any number of popular dating apps. I tapped on handsome faces and sent flirtatious messages and, for a few minutes, felt as though she and I could have been any other girlfriends taking a coffee break on a Monday afternoon, analyzing the faces and biographies of men, who just happened to appear Asian.
I had been interested in dating more Asian-American men, in fact—?
For instance, Midwestern girl of ordinary background, state college, some sorority, and normal day job, wearing uggs in winter seeping pumpkin latte may think she’s boring, but to me it wasn’t the case.
I am expected to know more and earn more than a girl does, not because it turns her on, but it promises her comfort. In the states, a good job or money can definitely boost a guy’s charm, but the guy still has to earn her respect.
And don't ask me what that sign says because I probably don't know. But I most likely know how to speak a language other than English. How else are we supposed to talk about other people in public? My parents programmed every second of my life before it was cool for parents to do that. In fact, they'll probably continue trying to set me up with their friends' sons. They might not think you're husband material (yet), but they will like you more if you eat. Actually, just be willing to eat everything when you're around me.
I yawned my way through weeknights with a tutor or at a prep program, and I spent my Saturdays at Korean school hating life while learning how to be a better Korean. "You're not married to this so-called boyfriend of yours yet — what's the big deal?
There's Black People Meet, for African-American dating, and Minder, which bills itself as a Muslim Tinder.
As we chatted about the app, she let me poke around her personal profile, which she had created recently after going through a breakup.
I don't understand why anyone would eat Flaming Hot Cheetos without chopsticks (keeps the Cheetos dust from getting on the fingers). Don't assume I know how to speak fill-in-the-blank-Asian language. Doesn't matter who's with me, when I'm eating out, I'm going to reach for the check first. With parents and aunts and uncles getting into physical altercations over who gets to pay for dinner.
I didn't necessarily grow up speaking any language other than English. I'll expect you to pick up a few words of said language if you don't know it already. You'll never be able to get to the check faster than I can! My parents will immediately reject you as a suitor.
From their tidy desks, the team, almost all of whom identify as Asian-American, had long been deploying social media memes that riff off of a range of Asian-American stereotypes. When I showed that last image to an informal range of non-Asian-American friends, many of them mirrored my shock and bemusement. Yamazaki added that the feedback was especially aggressive when Asian women were featured in their advertisements.
An attractive East Asian woman in a bikini poses in front of a palm tree: "When you meet an attractive Asian girl, no ' Sorry I only date white guys.' " A selfie of another smiling East Asian woman in front of a lake is splashed with the words "Just like Dim Sum...choose what you like." A dapper Asian man leans into a wall, with the words "Asian Dating app? When I showed my Asian-American pals, a brief pause of incredulousness was sometimes followed by a kind of ebullient recognition of the absurdity. "Like we have to share Asian women as if they are property," Yamazaki said, rolling his eyes.
So strike the phrase "Asian persuasion" from your vocabulary.