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But as euphoric as the highs of the initial relationship may have been, your hopes for a healthy relationship were probably dashed when your initially kind and loving partner inexplicably began to show irritation, and if you stuck around long enough, may have entered into what looked to be a full-blown campaign to tear down your self-esteem along with your worth as a man.
Here are some of the insinuations or outright accusations that men may experience when women with traits of BPD make the transition from idealizing to devaluing their romantic partners: You are incompetent You are not smart You are not committed to her You have poor judgment You don’t know how to treat a woman You are not faithful You don’t care about her You are weak You are cowardly You are unattractive You are selfish You are a poor lover You don’t really love her Most of us assume that a person who is being subjected to this kind of behavior on a regular basis would soon realize that they are in a relationship with an unhealthy partner.
Most women who engage in this pattern would not be eligible for the diagnosis.
But even women who do not qualify for diagnosis can cause a great deal of damage to their partners when their idealization fades.
Many people with borderline personality disorder get better with treatment and can live happy, peaceful lives.In order to more clearly understand the personality trait that leads to romantic idealization and devaluation, we are going to take a look at an imaginary scale or spectrum of interest in romance.At the far left side of this spectrum you will find individuals who are the most interested in all things romantic. On the right side we will place people who may choose to be in a lifelong partnership but who do not idealize their relationships.It may sound cruel and malicious to draw a man in, win his trust over completely, and then systematically tear him down.But the truth is that in most of these relationships the woman herself may have no idea during the idealization phase that she is headed straight towards the destruction of her relationship.
These events are brought about by a difficult employee’s personality.